


Hunt Down The Freeman: Face Fucked Consequences

by postal_ech



Category: Half-Life, Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, Hunt Down The Freeman
Genre: Gen, One Big Ole Shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 14:15:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13859448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postal_ech/pseuds/postal_ech
Summary: Mitchell Shepherd who is Adrian Shepherd's brother has to do what has to be done and defeat the freemens





	Hunt Down The Freeman: Face Fucked Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah.  
> This is real.  
> What you're reading now is no illusion. It's a legitimate shitpost.  
> This came to fruition after I decided to take a listen to that cult classic Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, and a few good ole memes about Hunt Down The Freeman and how shit it is: How terrible the writing is, how the SFM cutscenes are just The Room levels of bad, how it's basically a fanfiction made into a game.  
> And that's when I got thinking: "Wait...if it's a fanfic made into a game...then why not make it into something it's truly supposed to be?"  
> And so this abomination came to mind.  
> Enjoy this magnum opus of a HDTF meme folks, it was painful to write.

Hunt Down The Freeman: Face Fucked Consequences

 

Mitchell Shepherd who is Adrien Shepherd’s Brother was one day working in an Black Mesa Research Facility killing scientists. He got an radio call from his brother that said that aliens and black ops were attacking his squadmates and axed him for help so he went.

Mitchell Shepherd got his radio shut off and wet on the platform to go down into the Facility where he left his Humvee and scientists were close because he was in his leather military coat. Mitchell got on his Himvee and said “Whatever it takes, whoever it takes, however long it takes before I die, I will face my face fucked consequences” so he had to go.

Mitchell Shepherd ramped off the platform and did a 360 backflip and landed. He kept driving through the facility and made sure no freemens were around because he didnt have weapon.

The hallways was nice and the scientists were screaming and the headcrabs and elevator was almost down from the surface of the facility. The mood was set for Mitchell Shepherds quest to help his brother where he was. Mitchell Shepherd looked around the hallways and said “It is a bad day to do what has to be done by me and find the freemen and defeat the enemys for my brother and me.”

Mitchell Shepherd was late so he had to drive really fast. A security van was hiden near by so when Mitchell Shepherd went by Black Mesa Security came and wanted to give him a write-up. Here Mitchell Shepherd saw the first monster because the first security cop was possessed and had headcrabs.

“I cant give you my ID guy.” Mitchell Shepherd said.

“Why not?” Said the headcrab security man back to Mitchell Shepherd.

“Because you have a spider with a vagina on you.” So Mitchell Shepherd shot the guy in the head and drove off thinking “My brother isn’t gonna die on my watch” and went faster 

Mitchell Shepherd had to go faster like the speed of dark and got there fast because Adrian needed him where he was. Mitchell Shepherd looked at hallway signs and saw “Lambda Complex” with someons writing under it saying “very dangrus, no come here” so Mitchell almost turned around but heard yelling like Adrien so he went faster again.

Mitchell Shepherd drove in and did another 720 front flip n jumped off his humvee and the hum vee took out some black ops infront of Mitchell Shepherd. Mitchell Shepherd smiled and walked fast. Mitchell Shepherd then looked on ground and found nife so he pickd it up and stabbed fast at alieen goasts in front of a office.

Mitchell Shepherd then said “fuck off goasts” and the alien goasts said “no u” and Mitchell Shepherd didnt felt sorry for them because they were alien goasts that couldnt live their lives anymore because they were alien goasts so Mitchell Shepherd so he blew up office and killed alien goasts so they were in peaces

Then Mitchell Shepherd herd another yell from his brother so he kept walkin really fast to get to where he was. Lambda Complex was nothing like the hallways there were no headcrabs screeching and the legs die and teh floor was bloody and messy from scientists.

When Mitchell Shepherd got to where screaming was started from he saw his brother Adrian Shepherd fighting the black ops boss and Adrien said “Mitchell Shepherd! Over Here!” and so Mitchell Shepherd went there to where Adrien Shepherd was fighting. Mitchell Shepherd stabbed teh knife really fast and the blade went and stabbed the black ops in the throat and the black ops could no longer breathe.

Adrien Shepherd then said “its time to avenge my mom who suicided in front of me!” and punched the back ops in the face and the black ops fell and died from lack of air in throat. Mitchell Shepherd said “Adrian” and Adrien Shepherd said “I could have goten him myself, next time.” and they both growled because things were sad.

The growled overed quickly though because Mitchell Shepherd yelled “LOOK OUT BRO!” and pointed to the door. Adrien said nothing though because he wasnt there and Mitchell realized it wasnt really Adrien but someone that looked and sounded like Adrien. Mitchell Shepherd then watched as Freemen with a helmet ran at him with shotgun and fired in his chest and beat face with his crowbar and fucked up his face

“Ill get you back Girdon, Ill get the Freemen back!” Mitchell Shepherd yelled at top of lung.

And then he met Gman.

 

To be continued?

**Author's Note:**

> Right, well, back to writing crossovers and shit.
> 
> _And now I have the permission to die_


End file.
